Urdu, Expats and Angst. Are your children Bilingual?

September 5, 2006 at 10:44 pm · Filed under ::Language, ::Maternal Musings, ::On my Mind...

This post also appears in part on ‘All Things Pakistan: Pakistaniat.com’.

If like myself, you are parents of children growing up ‘abroad’ (outside of countries where Urdu is spoken as a major language), then we probably share a common angst if our children do not or cannot speak our native language.  Having grown up outside of Pakistan my entire life, save numerous long summers during early schooling years and then later, almost bi-annual winters during college and thereafter, I am able to converse and understand spoken Urdu.  It is thanks to my parents, who spoke Urdu throughout my young formative years, and our visits to the motherland, that I am able today, to appreciate more of my rich culture because I have the ability to communicate and comprehend Urdu.  My wish and hope is that my children too, are able to have this wonderful gift and opportunity.  In the world we now live in, especially for our American/foreign born children, the need for them to have a strong sense of belonging and a positive self-identity in the western societies they live in, is paramount in my opinion.

As a parent of two young children now (ages 5 and 2), my husband & I constantly struggle with the fact that our children are not speaking Urdu.  We think they understand the language in some minimal capacity, but not nearly enough to elicit proper comprehension or more far flung verbal communication.  We (or rather I!) think they are in reality absorbing more than we give them credit for, but the reality is that it is not a two way road (yet).  I am a sincere optimist in this regard.  It really boils down to whether or not we as parents make the exherted and consistent effort to actually SPEAK to each other in Urdu, and therefore with our children.  It has been noted that even in households where parents speak Urdu, the children living abroad either stop speaking their native language soon after entering preschool, KG, etc. or never felt comfortable speaking it at all.  So, if your children don’t speak Urdu either because you as a parent are not using it as the first language of communication in the household, or even if you are, and your children still either cannot or refuse to, I still feel that there is good in continuing to speak.

There are a lot of theories and much evidence that while children may not speak their native language, if they are around it and hear it being spoken, their young minds may be absorbing more than you think.  Language acquisition begins from birth onwards.  Many linguistic experts agree for the most part that the years from birth to before puberty is when the brain is able to absorb the most language, as well as the proper accent and more ‘native-like’ fluency and pronounciation.  This is considered the ‘critical’ or the milder term, ‘optimal’ period for first and second language acquisition.

Psycholinguists and cognitive scientists have debated this ‘critical period hypothesis’ quite enthusiastically (from: “Cognitive Scientists on Bilingual Education”, UPI, Steve Sailer – October 27, 2000):

MIT linguist Noam Chomsky is famous for demonstrating that children are born with an innate ability to learn words and grammar. He suggests caution on the subject but pointed out, “There is no dispute about the fact that pre-puberty (in fact, much earlier), children have unusual facility in acquiring new languages.”

Chomsky’s younger MIT colleague, cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, [now at Harvard] author of the bestsellers “The Language Instinct” and “How the Mind Works,” states, “When it comes to learning a second language, the younger the better. In a large study of Chinese immigrants who entered the U.S. at different ages, those who arrived after puberty showed the worst English language skills. Still, this finding of ‘younger is better’ extended to far younger ages. People who began to learn English at six ended up on average more proficient than those who began at seven, and so on.” As an illustration, Pinker points to the famously thick German accent of former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who arrived in America at age fourteen. In contrast, his younger brother developed a standard American accent.

Pinker’s arch-rival, Terrence W. Deacon, a biological anthropologist at Boston University and author of “The Symbolic Species,” replies, “I have to agree with Steve Pinker[on this one particular issue]that learning a language early in life can be an advantage for developing language fluency and sophistication.”

I know from personal experience, that languages in which I was immersed or was spoken to during the ‘critical period’ years, are still with me, and seem to possess the ability to speak with minimal non-native accent.  I lived in Thailand until age 14 and also learned French in elementary school (as well as being exposed to French in Laos-French IndoChina- during ages 5-9).  Almost 2 decades later I can still converse to some coherent degree in those languages.  I learned Spanish in my mid-twenties, and many (!) years later, I can barely remember 5-10 basic sentences!  There is something to be said about exposing children at the youngest of ages to more than one language.  The method and order may vary.  On a separate note, I find it quite perplexing, given the evidence, that most [public] schools in the United States only begin to offer foreign language study after adolescence, in middle school or more popularly in High School!  No wonder many who take these courses end up not really becoming fluent or compentent lifelong speakers (I personally know far too many people who are in this boat).

While we as parents may get frustrated or dejected that our children are not speaking Urdu (or any other native language for that matter), remember to train yourself to speak as much as you can with each other and your children.  And I know it is a difficult task living in a country where usually only the parents are present to make the difficult commitment and effort to speak in Urdu.  In most households, the onus falls on one parent who spends the most time with the children.  But that should not absolve the other parent from strictly adhering to the commitment of staying consistent.  Speaking one’s native language consistently, is the best immersion program you’ll find outside of living in the ‘homeland’!  As I write this, we are certainly guilty of not being consistent – but nonetheless being constantly aware that if we want our children to grasp some (or more) of Urdu, we have to persevere.

A Little History…

In many instances the first generation children born from immigrants (in the late 60s and 70s) from Pakistan/India/anywhere else Urdu is spoken, were not exposed to the language as many parents of that generation chose not to expose them so that they could assimilate into the American society more readily.  Many from that first generation now have children of their own, and in many cases want their children to know Urdu, but they themselves may not be proficient in the language, which presents its own set of challenges.  There is yet another segment of society which consists of expatriates who were born and schooled in Pakistan, per se, but came to the US (or UK/Europe) for higher education, settled down there, and face the challenge of teaching their children their native language in a English speaking societies.  For some, the challenge is immense, while many others have effortlessley imparted the value of a second ‘native’ language to their children.  It is worth asking how some are able to acheive this, while also examining why many other families are left frustrated, defeated and unable to get their children to learn and speak their language.  There is a good deal to explore, so here I proceed…

Means to an End: Is Language, Culture?

If you are born to a family where their culture and language are other than American (or ‘western’) and English, the challenge to keep the family’s native language alive can be tremendous, that is if the family values their language, thus preserving their cultural ties to their countries of origin.  This is a very real and challenging reality for many expatriate and immigrant communities, who want so desperately to ‘fit in’ and assimilate to the majority culture – speaking ‘American’, dressing western et al.  Many communities are able to maintain their links to their ‘homelands’ via religious observances and keeping up with cultural traditions.  However, the strength which language has in being the bridge between the gaping divide between truly living and understanding one’s culture or country of origin, vs. just going through the motions of trying to re-enact cultural traditions is quite indisputable.  Navigating the cultural subtleties without the most essential tool, language, can never wholly bring the life of a culture to its fullest appreciation.  Having said that, there are of course, many levels of linguistic ability which dictate how deep that appreciation can be, but even a general command of a language enables one to gain a better and more profound insight and understanding of that culture.  This not to say that people cannot appreciate a traditional wedding ceremony, it’s rituals or even feel connected to a piece of music from their native lands if they do not know the language.  So many do, and feel they are part of that culture – whether they completely comprehend their language or not.  After all, non-Urdu speaking Parisians swayed in a daze to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan’s Qawaali performances and fell in trance with his artistry – they made a connection.  But alas they were not able to appreciate the Sufi poetry or the deeper allegorical messages therein, without being equipped with the language at hand.  So while culture and it’s beautiful components may be accessible, being armed with a command and understanding of a native language can only enhance and further the appreciation of that culture.  To get to this end, so many parents today, are caught in this challenge of how to teach their children their native tongue effectively and with some degree of permanance.

Being Bilingual

For many who grow up in a bi-cultural household, which may consist of either one or both parents from a country of origination other than the United States, or where English is the predominant language, then the issue of language becomes the centerpiece of the way a family communicates.  Where the parents either do not speak any significant amount of English, the default family language becomes their native tongue.  In other scenarios, one parent may be a strong(er) English speaker, even educated in English through higher education levels and thus be able to impart the boons of English to their youngsters, while the other parent, not proficient or as comfortable in English, may end up communicating in their mother language, thus creating a default bilingual household.  Yet in many other groups, both parents may be proficient English speakers, who often communicate in their native language, but their dominant language of communication defaults to English.

For the purpose of this discussion, I would like to examine the ways parents teach their children a second language (Urdu, in this case) other than English.  If a parent wants their child(ren) to learn their mother tongue, the challenges can be overwhelming and cause for frustration.  How does one teach a child who is learning and speaking English, their native language?  What methods work or do not work?  At what stage is it best to introduce a native language, and if you think that ‘stage’ has already passed, is it still possible for your child to learn Urdu?  While it may be very useful to seek the invaluable advice from those who have been successful in producing bilingual children, on how they did it, it may also be useful to understand how language acquisition in children works and the theories & studies linguists have provided to get a better understanding of how children learn and acquire languages, as well as what ways are children encouraged to become bilingual.

To help understand how experts understand bilingualism and how it impacts language development, the following write up by Marsha Rosenberg from the Internet TESL Journal explains how parents can help their children become bilingual. For some, being ‘bilingual’ may mean having proficiency in one language (literacy and reading) and full listening comprehension in another – or it may mean having equal (or near equal) proficiencies in both.  It is important to define and chalk out basic expectations one has for one’s children, and make a plan from there. The following has been adapted from Rosenberg’s initial writings:

A Useful Guide:

Types of Childhood Bilingualism

Two types of childhood bilingualism have been defined. The first is simultaneous learning of two languages. It normally happens when the language used at home is different from language used in the community or school. The parents, caregivers or other family members might not speak the language of the school or the community, or the parents could speak two or more languages but have made a decision about which language they speak with the child.

The second type of childhood bilingualism is called sequential or successive bilingualism. This happens when a child has one established language before learning a second language, whether in preschool or later (the age of three usually separates simultaneous and sequential language learning). Some children and adults, of course, usually learn a second language formally through school or language classes.

You Need a ‘Language Plan’

Bilingualism really isn’t something that simply happens. Raising children to be successful in more than one language requires some careful planning and learning about bilingual language development. Success appears to depend on whether a “language plan” has been worked out in advance. Families who take the time to consider how their children will develop two languages, and who make the necessary commitments to bilingual language development, tend to be more successful in raising bilingual children.

Before you start the bilingual program, it’s a good idea to clarify your own definition of bilingualism. Language proficiency can be evaluated in terms of listening, speaking, reading and writing. A person may speak only one language but have listening comprehension in two languages. Another may listen and speak in two languages but reading and writing ability in only one.

When kids are learning two languages at the same time parents need to work out language strategies that emphasize boundaries between the languages. For example:

• One parent, one language. Each parent consistently speaks one language while the other parent speaks another language (usually each on speaking his or her native language to the child and possibly the common language to each other).
• Both parents speak one language in the home and a second language is used at school.
• One language is used in the home and at school and the second language is used in the community.
• Both parents speak both languages to the child but separate the languages according to speaking situations or alternate days.

Recommendations for parents

Here are a few basic points that are important in raising children with more than one language.

• Provide the right environment. Do what comes naturally to you and your family in terms of which language(s) you use when, but make sure your children hear both (or all three or four) languages frequently and in a variety of circumstances. Create opportunities for your children to use all of the languages they hear. Be good listeners and good language models by introducing rich vocabulary and varied conversations. Providing books, music, and even videos in both language is also important.
• Talk to all your children in the same way, not for instance, using one language with the elder and another language with the younger. Language is tied to emotions, and if you address your children in different languages, some of your children may feel excluded, which in turn might adversely affect their behavior.
• Avoid abrupt changes in how you talk to your children, especially when they are under six. Don’t suddenly decide to speak French to them if you have only been using English. In this respect, beware of “experts” (e.g., doctors, teachers) who tell you to stop speaking a particular language to your child.
• Children should not be forced into bilingualism if it really does make them unhappy. If you feel strongly about your children using one particular language with you, encourage them to use it in all of their communication with you. Try to discourage their use of another language with you by asking them to repeat what they said in the preferred language or by gently offering them the appropriate words in the language you want them to use.
• Be consistent with the pattern you choose, stick to it. Although children can learn two languages in what seems like chaos, a reasonable amount of consistency will make their job, and yours, simpler. Once children learn the pattern they are often disturbed when a parent breaks it.
• The more you can make bilingualism seem like a natural and unremarkable part of family life, the more likely it is that the children will grow up to enjoy being bilingual, and the more likely it is that you will succeed in keeping both languages active in your home. Do not make language an issue, and do not rebuke or punish children for using or not using a particular language.
• Do not mix the languages. If you mix languages in the same conversation, young kids experience difficulty separating vocabulary and grammar into the appropriate language. The child may learn the “mixed” language as one hybrid language.
• Be aware of individual difference among children. Each child learns language at his or her own speed. This is related to a variety of factors, such as length of time the family remains in the community that used the second language, relationships with the family member who speaks the second language, and attitudes toward each language expressed by the parents, school, community and especially the child. Both languages must be given importance and a sense of worth in all aspects of the child’s life.

There are speech therapists and medical doctors who claim that using two languages at young age causes language delay and language disorder. The common reason for this claim is twofold. First, they claim that hearing two or more languages will confuse the child and lead to grave problems in acquiring language. Second, it is claimed that the acquisition of the main language of the environment will stand a better chance without competition from the other language.

However, there is no scientific evidence to date that using two or more languages leads to delays or disorders in language acquisition. Many children throughout the world grow up with two or more languages from infancy without showing any signs of language delays or disorders. These children provide visible proof that there is no causal relationship between a bilingual environment and language learning problems. In addition, there is no scientific evidence that giving up one language automatically has a beneficial effect on the other.

While it is hard to figure out if it is best to just speak exclusively to your children in Urdu from the day they are born (works for countless people!), or if you feel that introducing it once they have mastered English, per se, it still is very possible for children to acquire the proper ‘native-like’ skill to speak and learn Urdu.  Children are active and quick learners, but in order to give them the chance, they must be adequately exposed to the language in as natural a manner as possible.  If circumstances permit, visit the homeland whenever feasible and perhaps for longer stretches of time (as opposed to that awefully short winter window during the December/January wedding rush – Yes, summer is sickeningly hot, but everything has it’s price?).  Teach them children’s songs or listen to Urdu music in your car.  Read them their favorite stories and re-tell them in Urdu.  Help them develop a vocabulary by showing them pictures of household items, for example, and saying what they are.  Sometimes if done in a sublte and non ‘classroom’ like manner, children learn more enthusiastically and with a stronger connection and permanance.

It is my hope that some of the points made here will serve as either a good starting point for those of us discouraged or unsuccessful at helping our children become more grounded in their abilities to learn and speak Urdu.  It is an extremely difficult process for many, but being consistent in speaking with your children in Urdu as much as possible is the secret.  We know that they will learn English or any other ‘majority’ spoken language in the country you are living in.  Learning Urdu outside of places like Pakistan, India, etc., will only happen if it is present in the home.  And while it may seem as if your children still opt not to ‘speak’ Urdu even after all your efforts, I sincerely believe that it is still very much worth it to continue to converse in Urdu – They may surprise you one day after a visit from a relative or if they happen to visit their homeland and feel compelled to give it a try.  Positive encouragement and an unpressurized setting may be the key.  Children tend to listen (!) and store the words and sounds somewhere in the recesses of their brains – we truly hope they will be able to learn the beautiful language of Urdu.  Good luck!

Interesting reasons why being bilingual or multilingual has so many far flung advantages:

(from the Italian Bilingual School’s site)

WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OF LEARNING A SECOND LANGUAGE?

Learning a second language provides a number of advantages, not only for the individual, but society itself.

COMMUNICATION ADVANTAGES
Wider communication (extended family, community, international links, employment)
Literacy in two languages.

CULTURAL ADVANTAGES
Broader cultural understanding and multicultural sensitivity, “two language worlds of experience” (Baker, 2000)
Greater tolerance and social harmony

COGNITIVE ADVANTAGES
Thinking benefits (creativity, sensitivity to communication)
Greater problem-solving and analytical skills

PERSONAL ADVANTAGES
Raised self-esteem
Flexibility and adaptability
Confidence in social interactions
Greater interpersonal skills

CURRICULUM ADVANTAGES
Conceptual development in two languages
Transfer of academic skills across two languages.
Collaborative and cooperative learning

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UPDATED – 2008: The PakXpats site is now: URDU FOR KIDS by the same person.  An excellent site for teaching Urdu to children along with great downloadable material:  https://www.urduforkids.com/DesktopDefault.aspx

For parents wishing to help facilitate their child’s learning of Urdu, I have found and excellent online downloadable teaching resource, PakXpats is now URDU FOR KIDS .  They consist of ‘e-Books’, and are categoried by levels and focus on vocabulary development, letter/alphabet recognition and word and sentence writing.  There are also books on Pakistan studies and Deen. Coloring books for the very young with words are also available.  Do visit as they have a good selection and very easy to access method of use.

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